As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, re-reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle has brought me so many new insights.
Towards the end of the book, he introduces the concept of the “Three Modalities of Awakened Doing”. They are acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm.
In yesterday’s post I gave my VERY layman’s rundown of acceptance. In a nutshell, when you are faced with things you normally resist and get angry about, just accept the situation at hand. Pushing against the current moment only brings more suffering.
An important note on this that I didn’t mention yesterday- acceptance doesn’t mean sticking your head in the sand.
You accept the situation, BUT if you are miserable, you work to change the circumstances that are unfavorable. If you have a boss that yells at you every day, you don’t have to accept working for him or her as your lot in life.
But, you also don’t have scream back or run to the bathroom and cry. Instead, perhaps have some compassion that they are in so much pain that they take it out on others.
And start looking for a new job. Really. You don’t need that shit every day.
So speaking of every day, what about those everyday things we often drone about? Not the screaming boss, but the more common job scenario.
For most of us, we head into a job five days a week that we really don’t hate, but also don’t love. Let’s put it this way, we don’t enter through the company door each morning excited to be there.
We do it because it pays the bills. We find some of the task okay and others we dread. We like some of our co-workers and others we avoid like the plague.
Eckhart proposes that this doesn’t have to be the case. And we don’t have to win the lottery for the change to happen.
Instead, he says that if we focus on the present moment, and not worry about the past or the future, we can find all kinds of joy in what we are doing.
Your mind may fight against this concept, but try it.
When you are at work typing an email, try to just enjoy writing the email. Don’t worry about the 20 things you have to do before you can leave work. Don’t write the email while beating yourself up about snapping at your husband this morning. Just write the email.
When you’re in a meeting, really listen to others. Not so you can combat what they say, or show you are the best employee because you are taking notes. Just listen, and see what unfolds.
People are suddenly way more interesting when you listen fully, instead of half-listening and half-thinking about how much you wish you were at lunch.
Added bonus- when you are present, new and creative ideas will flow to you like never before. If your mind is somewhere else, filled with worries, how does creativity even have a chance?
Taking in everything that is happening will help you see things with fresh eyes. New ideas will pop up easier.
And your connection to others will deepen.
How many of us know someone that starts conversations by explaining how stressed and overwhelmed they are? Their dialog is almost always rooted in something that has passed or something that might happen.
What if they (READ: YOU) decided that being stressed isn’t helpful to their everyday life? Instead, try talking about something more interesting. Retreading how stressed you are doesn’t make you less stressed. In fact, the opposite is almost always true.
Another point Eckhart makes about enjoyment is that you don’t have to wait to feel excitement about your life.
I am completely guilty of this.
I tend to think about what thing needs to be done, or what event needs to happen, so that I’ll feel better.
As a counselor once put it to me- Good luck with that! Basically, I’ll always find something else that needs to happen, always putting happiness just out of reach.
Instead, I’ve been working on not idealizing a date uncertain and just taking in the moment.
Why would I wait until I’m flush with cash and a size 4 to be happy?
That’s pretty unfair to the person I am right now. Why should I have to live in limbo because my thoughts decided happiness is something I get when my bank account and jeans hit a certain number?
Focusing on the past and how happy you used to be is of no help either. Wishing for days gone by only creates pain in the moment that is now.
Being present, accepting what is, and taking in joy changes everything in an instant. And that is all we have- this exact moment. Why not treasure it?!
