As I mentioned on Friday, my stepdaughter is now officially a freshman in college. This weekend we moved her down to her school, California State University, Long Beach, and helped her get settled into her dorm.
To be totally honest, it was way more emotional than I thought it was going to be. And I was already braced to be pretty upset.
Like many other freshman, I think she handled it better than any of her parents did! She seems was excited to be there and the school is a great fit for her.
It’s located in Orange County (near Los Angeles) and the opportunities of things to explore in the area are limitless. From beaches to Disneyland, she really is in the middle of it all.
The university is a great size, too. It’s large, without seeming overwhelming.
On Saturday, we moved her into her dorm and had the opportunity to meet her roommate, who very sweet. It was nice to see the girls get settled.
My stepdaughter is very organized, so she had almost everything covered before she moved in. It was fun to see her figure out how she wanted to make the space her own.
The school had a parent orientation, which answered a lot of questions we had.
From letting us know that they can bring soup to the kids when the are sick, so they don’t have to go to the dining hall, to explaining safety on campus, they knew how to put parents’ worries at ease.
It’s so wonderful to see your kid work so hard in high school and then have the opportunity to be in great place to experience the first few years on their own.
It’s also nice, because although I am stepmom, I get along really well with my husband’s ex-wife. I am very lucky that whole experience was fun and exciting, instead of awkward and stressful.
So, Saturday was really wonderful and I think I was in denial of what was coming next- Saying goodbye.
The moment my husband and I left our hotel on Sunday morning to drive to campus and say goodbye, I started crying. It hit me. She wasn’t coming back with us.
I felt some guilt in my sadness. This is such a happy time, and so many parents would love to have their child go to a school they are excited about, but I was struggling.
By the time we got to campus, I had pulled it together.
We got to see her for about 30 minutes to say goodbye before we had to head to the airport, and she had to go to a freshman orientation session.
Of course, I cried when I hugged her goodbye, but in a fairly composed way. I just told her how proud we are, and that she is going to have a wonderful time.
As always, she was so sweet and full of gratitude. She thanked us for everything, promised to text and FaceTime, and said she loved us and would see us soon.
Once my husband and I got to the car, I let the tears flow. That continued on and off for most of the rest of the day yesterday.
It’s the weirdest combination of emotions- joy and happiness, mixed with sadness.
I am sure it’s what every parent experiences when their kid first leaves home.
You know this is how life goes, and you know it’s a blessing, but cutting the cord is no easy task.
And I guess it shouldn’t be so simple and painless for a parent. You love them deeply, and it should be sad when the situation shifts.
I am also reminding myself that the new normal can be full of excitement and joy, too.
As my husband and I talked it through, I realized between pre-planned family trips and the holidays, I was going to see her at least once a month through the end of the year.
But for now, we are on day 1 as official empty-nesters.
I’ve been staying busy since we got home- cleaning, grocery shopping, and doing laundry. Not sitting still makes it easier for me.
Of course, I keep looking at my phone to see if she’s texted, because I love the updates, but I’m also trying to just enjoy them as they come in. This is her time to soak everything in.
This is the new normal, and I know it will be a wonderful adventure for both her, and my husband and me.
Being completely kid-less is something we’ve never experienced. I know we will embrace and enjoy all that comes with this new phase for us.
The more I remind myself to get out my head and take life in, the more I see the beauty in today and what is to come. Even if it is mixed with a few (okay- a lot) of tears!
