I’m a firm believer in date nights. I feel like so many couples discount the importance of blocking out a few times a month- yes a month- to go on a date.
And I get it- lots of couples with young kids can’t image going out just the two of them to have some fun. So many of my girlfriends with kids say the only thing they’d want to do on a couple’s night is sleep. So yeah, I get it.
But I also know more often than not, these are the same friends that are complaining their husbands are more of roommates than their romantic partners. So maybe there is a link here?
My husband and I are pretty good about setting aside time to go out just the two of us strictly for fun.
Sure you can have fun running errands together, but that is not a date.
When you plan to do something that serves no higher function than to just be quality time together, then you are making the time to check back in and reconnect.
I can feel the difference in our relationship when we go too long without a block of time to have a date night.
We will get into the loop where we get home from working late, quickly take care of a few household chores, make dinner, and maybe have a little time to watch a TV show. Then it’s already later than we should stay up, so it’s lights out.
Weekends can be no better. We quickly fill any free time with family obligations, chores, and dinners out with friends.
When we get into this pattern of not having downtime together we can feel the strain.
The sneaky thing is that it builds up slowly, so we barely notice it. We start fighting about the little things and more of our communication is task-oriented instead of the in-depth conversations we have when we’re synced up.
So here are some date night ideas. We’ve done all of these and each one has totally helped us reconnect. They go beyond the traditional dinner and movie, but can still be done in a few hours.
Learn Something Together
There is something about leaning on each other when you are out of your comfort zone that really brings a couple together. My husband and I have recently tried painting classes and cooking classes. Both were relatively low-cost (Groupon or Living Social are always running deals on things like this) and are only a few hours.
The funny thing is that if you were single and saw a great Groupon for a cooking class, you’d likely text your friend to see if they were interested in checking it out. But I feel like a lot of married couples don’t even think about these small adventures.
Do It. I promise you will learn something new about yourself and your partner in the same evening.
Go Somewhere Nostalgic
One of the great things about being together for so long is that you have a ton of great memories. It’s really fun to go on a date that takes you on a little walk down memory lane.
Recently my husband and I went to the California State Fair. We live in Sacramento, so we have gone to the Fair many times over the years, but it was nice to walk around just the two of us. We talked about different memories of taking the kids and other times with friends.
That night, there was also a Journey-cover band playing the evening concert. I’m younger than my husband by 11 years, so although I knew a lot of the songs, I didn’t have memories associated with most of them. He was in middle school when they were big, so when a song was played that reminded him of his 8th grade dance, it was great to hear a cute story that I had never heard before.
Side Note: If you’re visiting each other’s home or college town, try and take some time to drive around and hear or tell stories. There is nothing like being in the environment to bring back the little funny things you’ve forgotten over the years.
Bike to Brunch
Here’s another idea that seems like a no-brainer if you’re dating, but doesn’t seem to happen very much when you’ve been together for a while.
When the weather is nice, go into the garage and brush off your bikes (or rent them, lots of town have bike rental shops) and take a nice bike ride. You can hit up a farmer’s market, coffee shop, or brunch.
I think biking is great because it gets you outside and your blood pumping, but ending at a place where you can chat is key. One of our favorite date days is a Saturday ride to the farmer’s market followed by brunch at a nearby spot.
These are just a few ideas, and there so many more. I love planning a fun date night. I get to be a little creative and connect with my man. What could be better?
