If you’ve cracked a self-help book in the past decade, you’ve not doubt heard this statement:
Give Away What You Want to Receive
I’ve struggled with the concept, but the more I try it, the more it seems to actually be a smart way to live life.
Funny how that happens.
Many people attribute the concept to general universal laws. If you’re holding onto things for dear life and living with an attitude of scarcity, you may keep with you have. But you’ll struggle to receive more of it and certainly struggle to receive new things that you’ve wished for.
It’s a form of being stuck. When your focus is on keeping what you currently have, the flow gets backed up.
More goodness can’t come your way, because trying to keep what you already have is taking up all your energy.
Recently a friend was talking about the concept and that brought the idea to the front of my mind again.
She works at Lululemon and had just returned from their annual retreat. A speaker they had at one of the sessions pushed on this idea.
The speaker suggested that if you are struggling with the idea from a material standpoint, then start by giving away kindness. I think we can all agree we want more kindness in this world, and give it away isn’t too hard.
After our talk, I started trying it.
Now I make an effort to smile at people while walking down the street instead of rushing along with my head down. When I’m checking out at a store, I slow down and engage with the cashier more than I use to.
Another thing I’d like more in my life is calmness. Things aren’t crazy, but who couldn’t use more calmness? So I started giving it away.
For example, at work do I need to get frazzled just because that seems to be the feelings of the group I’m around in that moment? Not at all.
If I want more calmness in a situation, why am I added to the stress of the situation?
Instead of giving away more anxiety by saying things that add to the craziness, I try and give away calmness.
Ironically I use to do this a lot in my old job. I handled corporate events and when I presenter was about to go on stage and was nervous, I’d make sure to be extra calm.
Was I really feeling calm at that moment? Not at first, I had a billion things going on.
But I wanted that person to be calm so they did their best, so I gave away the calmness I could pull from within me and pretty quickly they calmed, which made me even more at ease.
The final way I’ve been working on this recently is with positivity.
Being negative makes me feel really uncomfortable. I struggle with people that complain about things in a loop.
But instead of getting frustrated with how negative they are being, or fueling the situation by contributing to their negative talk, I try and match their negativity with positivity.
If I want a more positive expertise with a person, I’ll give away kindness and positivity.
Again, this has been working like a charm. Either the person changes their tune, or they get tired of your positive attitude because it isn’t validating them, so they leave. Either way, the negativity has been neutralized!
So my goal is to stick with this approach and see how things continue to go.
Maybe I’ll branch out to other things beyond kindness, calm, and positivity soon. For now shifting my approach has made room for so many good things to show up in my life.
